Okay. It's time for me to come clean. I'm addicted to the Lifetime channels. And lately I've had more spare time than usual to feed my guilty pleasure. Oy! The drama. Tales of infidelity, manipulation, lying, paranoia. In a lot of these flicks, there's usually a character who seems like the nicest person, but is really some psycho who is bent on stealing your husband, your family, your life. I dare you to spend a day watching these movies and not come away able to look at your best friend without thinking that she's out to steal your spouse, your kid or, at the very least, that cheesecake recipe you refuse to share because it's the one thing you do better than anyone else and gets you invited to some parties that maybe you wouldn't be invited to, as long as you bring that cheesecake.
I used to work for Continental Airlines at Newark Airport. Every tv in every breakroom in Terminal C was always tuned to Lifetime. And, although the guys would initially complain, saying "WTF??? Why is this chick channel always on?", it didn't take more than 5 minutes before they were sucked into whatever melodrama was unfolding. The FAA issues reports regularly regarding on-time performance, for both departures and arrivals, normally citing weather and/or sheer volume as the causes. But, if they investigated a little further, they would find that many departure delays are really due to the Lifetime channel. The next time you're at your departure gate, wondering where the agents assigned to work your flight are, look no further than the nearest breakroom. You can bet the Lifetime channel is on.
There are so many classic LT movies, I can't pick a fave, but here are just a few (beware of spoilers):
Crimes of Passion: She Woke Up Pregnant - Faithful wife finds out she's preggers with another man's child. Seems her dentist would drug her and do the dirty with her during her dental appointments. Silly me. Every time the dentist asks me to open wide, I thought he was referring to my mouth.
Elvis & Anabelle - Anabelle is a shoo-in to win the Miss Texas Rose pageant until she tragically dies during the pageant. She winds up on the embalming table of Elvis, an embittered guy stuck working in the family mortuary business instead of realizing his dreams. Anabelle mysteriously returns to life before Elvis begins the embalming. Their eyes meet and , lo and behold, they fall in love. Now, that's one girl who really WAS dying to meet a guy.
My Stepson, My Lover - Need I say more?
Mother, May I Sleep With Danger - The title alone should be enough to draw you in AND the fact that it stars that fabulous actress, Tori Spelling. what more could you wish for? Probably the campiest flick of all.
BTW, the group of ladies pictured above are the "Army Wives." I was watching last night when the LSH sat down on the couch. A bit later, The B, our lovable old dog, let him know he was ready to go out and I hear the LSH say "B, just wait for the commercial." AHA! Another innocent viewer sucked into the melodrama known as Lifetime. He denies, but I was there. He's hooked.