Thursday, October 23, 2008

In Sickness and In Health

I never planned on letting 4 days go by between blogs, but I have a good excuse. I had an unplanned trip to the ER on Tuesday afternoon and just was released today. (Have you ever been transported to the hospital by ambulance? If not, give it a try, especially if you like to make a grand entrance; arriving by ambulance gets you much more immediate attention than just walking in on your own power, no matter how much you're moaning. Being wheeled in on a stretcher surrounded by a few EMTs/paramedics is so much more dramatic). Anyway, after being poked, prodded, x-rayed, cat-scanned, and ultra-sounded, it was determined that my problem probably can be controlled by medication. I was very pleased with that decision, as the word "surgery" had come up more than a few times during my stay.

How your partner handles your illnesses can tell you alot about them. For those of you who may be thinking of marriage, get yourself sick for a few days, even better, get hospitalized (nothing serious, please) and watch how your partner behaves. When I say get hospitalized, vanity surgery, ie. facelift, implants, etc. doesn't count. Must be something you didn't want.

I was married to my ex when I was diagnosed with breast cancer the second time. Let me tell you, if I wasn't thinking of leaving him before that, this experience helped me make up my mind. I'll just give you one example of something a loving partner SHOULDN'T do. I initially was in the hospital for almost two weeks (had some complications) and my husband had never spoken once to the doctor directly. The doctor kept telling me that he was available any time if my ex had any questions. Well, Sunday afternoon the ex was there as well as my bro and sis-in-law. My ex's Sunday ritual was to do the NY Times crossword puzzle, so he was doing the puzzle when the doctor stopped in. The doctor asked my husband if he had any questions, and the ex replied: "Yeah, what's a 9 letter word for enemy?" You'd think he was joking, but he wasn't. The doctor laughed weakly and asked if he had any other questions, which he didn't. I actually can laugh about this now, but it's obviously a moment I'll never forget.

This was my first hospitalization since I've been married to the LSH. It was a totally different experience. He stayed with me, except when I sent him home to take care of the dog. Believe me, it can be torture just sitting bedside and waiting. He was with me during every test. At least, I could fall asleep. But he never complained and was constantly fixing up my bed, making sure I was comfortable. He also brought me a pic of my baby, my sheepdog, Bailey, to watch over me.

So, observe your SO next time you're sick, even if you're just home in bed with a bad cold. How they respond/act is very telling.

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